Belonging - A Reflection

When the term belonging is referred to, it is more or less based on the idea of being accepted by the social norm and conforming to the ideas set by society, yet still maintaining some sense of individuality and inner truth. Since most people associate the idea of belonging with the acceptance of a wider group, the concept of belonging is slowing being morphed into an element of being socially accepted, rather than finding acceptance and unity within you.

Ideally, to belong, you must slowly ripple out, by belonging to yourself, then to your intimate relations and family, to the wider world and so on, until you have found comfort in your position within the wider world. However, over time, it seems as if many have forgotten about belonging to yourself, as people seek to please others and society more and more, causing them to lose a sense of what they truly are. Forgetting your own happiness and living to fulfil the needs of others is now perceived as the new way to “belong”.

Like others, I too have lost myself in the wave of social acceptance and drifted away from who I truly was in order to fit into certain social standards. By doing so, I filed away my thoughts and kept my mouth shut when I should have spoken, from fear of being shunned or being viewed as a traitor by the society I was held. I wanted to belong and feel like I belonged to something much greater than myself and shifted my opinions to suit whomever I was with, without realising that in order to be happy, I needed to find happiness and belong to myself first. By forcing yourself into the mould of society and social groups, you are slowly pushing your true self away and belonging in the wrong run.

Belonging is when you choose to belong and not belong to the society. As Brene Brown, an American scholar, public speaker and author, once said “belonging starts with self-acceptance. Your level of belonging, in fact, can never be greater than your level of self-acceptance, because believing that you're enough is what gives you the courage to be authentic, vulnerable and imperfect.” In order to belong in the wider world and be experience the true happiness of belonging, you have to find happiness within you and belong to yourself.